How do I help?

A brave friend is also very scared and tired all the time… how do I help?


My friend has a problem.

This is a different “friend” than last week’s post.

My friend is the most genuinely confident person I ever knew while at the same time is terrified of everything.

Let me try to explain.


They would walk in front of anyone to protect those they love, and those they’ve never met who need help.

They would up sticks around the world to proclaim what they believed to be true for 18 months, frequently meeting hostility, frequently having the most amazing experiences they’ve ever known.

They would start over, time and time again with hardly a blink.

This friend picks up for the weekend and goes on adventures to discover new parts of the country.

This friend walks for fun, around reservoirs, through town, just walks long-ish distances.


They are afraid to walk to the corner shop in case they don’t make it fearing that their energy runs out and they can’t get back.

They are afraid to do the laundry in case they run out of energy and cannot complete the task.

They are afraid to change around the layout of their furniture in case they get part way through and cannot complete the task.

They are afraid to cycle with their family in case they can’t get back.

They are afraid to cook dinner in case they burn it.


The Macro / Micro expressions of courage and fear make my friend really tired.

They are conflicting.


Fear does not stop my friend.

They are often on the cusp of anger, a meltdown, a cry-fest, but these things do not stop them.

They cook the dinner, go to the corner shop for bread, do the laundry, change the furniture after procrastinating for weeks.

The fear does not stop the person on a long term basis but is debilitating and tiring.


They try to explain it like having a water barrel with a tap to draw down water, but fear that there are punctures and not enough water would remain, and what if there wasn’t enough water in the container in the first place to provide enough water to keep folks alive?

They say that most things are easy, terrifying but easy once they co-existingly conquer the run-and-hide emotions and do it anyway.

They say the big stuff is easier than the little stuff.

They say the big stuff is a doddle by comparison.


I don’t know how to help this person.



Author: Pollyanna Whyte

Single LDS Mormon Mum/Mom living in England. This is my blog on emotional health, fun, parenting, life, divorce, starting over, friends, family, church things, and budgeting. Stop by, tell us what you think, feel free to share (but credit the source please).

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