3 Years after the separation.

When you make a great choice to leave violence behind, it takes a while to get back on your feet…. but it does happen. This is Pollyanna, reporting live from on her feet in Doing-Pretty-Well-Ville.


Nearly 3 years ago, “the incident” occurred which changed the trajectory of mine and my child’s life forever. 

Fortunately we are very much over the initial impact, have landed on our feet after bouncing a few times on our tushie, we are within acceptable parameters for emotional strength and wellbeing.

  • We have a roof.
  • We have food and a table to eat it at, for many months there it was pasta every night and I was grateful through the grimace.
  • We have clothes on our back and shoes on our feet.
  • The child decided to have a growth surge two days after we left and has grown about a foot and gone through 4 sizes of shoe since that time. She was humble enough to wear some of my clothes until we could replenish her wardrobe, it broke my heart to have to do that but she rocked the look and it made me love her a little more.  Now we are fighting because she procrastinates putting away her copious amounts of laundry.  I see the blessing and recognise how daft the disagreement may be in the eternal scheme of things.
  • We have beds, working White Goods in the kitchen, and petrol in the car. Each of these things were in limited supply.
  • Our house is warm and cosy.

To go from paying half for everything to paying everything for everything was a leap, an enormous leap, and if I thought I lived frugally before it was nothing compared to now. The crushing responsibility of keeping another human being alive, on your own, kept me awake more nights than I care to recall in detail.

I took lots of my possessions and sold them. One particular time I took my things to sell and received the cash, the child came out of school with a letter for a school trip for £7 less than I had secured that very day. She obviously went on the trip.

You’d be surprised what you can do without.

You’d be surprised at which items you are happy to sell to make ends meet.

You’d be surprised at how much stuff which had seemed so important now looks like one more thing you have to carry next time you move.

Simplifying is the easiest way through.

When I eventually get a forever home, I am going to buy an ornament, a small and ugly thing.  It will stand as a reminder that apart from dusting, I’ll never have to pick that thing up again and move it all the days of my life unless I want to. 

I am looking forward to going out ornament shopping.

That will be a happy day.

But you know what, I’ll just add that particular happy day to all the others we have accrued and banked in the past 3 years, of which there are many to choose from.

Ladies and Gentlemen, it gets better, hang on in there.

Author: Pollyanna Whyte

Single LDS Mormon Mum/Mom living in England. This is my blog on emotional health, fun, parenting, life, divorce, starting over, friends, family, church things, and budgeting. Stop by, tell us what you think, feel free to share (but credit the source please).

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