When the incident happened, there was a huge emotional fallout. We were traumatised, me and Missy. I had to be traumatised in private but it sometimes slipped and slips out during sacrament meeting at church. The huge dosage of trauma was borne by the child, who was the person to whom the event was directed. I was only injured in the rescue so that is nothing in comparison. We got to safety and have a good life.
Swiftly my daughters choices of fashion changed to be army boots, cut black jeans, ragged tops, black baggy clothes, emo makeup which included lots of black lipstick. I was frightened that she had forever lost her peace, her joy, her happiness.
I decided to love her and wait and serve. I waited and I waited.
Anyone at church or school or our private life who commented was met with my answer “isn’t she creative! It is only fashion, she is still in there”. And I waited. I lost a little hope and waited some more.
And very recently, nearly 4 years later she is almost through processing the event and the raw anger has dissipated and colour is creeping back in to her attire and she laughs a lot and can concentrate in school. She is bright in her attire, today it is sky blue denim, burgundy skirt and black under tee. She is coming out the other side. That event did not eternally define her.
Behaviour is communication, always, and she was communicating very clearly her feelings on the matter.
And now she is communicating a very different message, just in time for adulthood and self determination. I could not be more joyful.
This message is sent to you from our LDS sacrament meeting as the thought couldn’t wait another minute. Sometimes he who stands and waits also serves. Waiting works. I love her.