I received an email through channels from my ex and I find myself in a SPLEURGGHHHCH barrel of icky feelings. I regressed into fear for a couple of hours, I felt sick and started doubting myself, I started shaking, I felt weepy and weak, I felt worthless, I found myself doing mental acrobatics.
While writing it down I’ve come to realise that while this is not a nice thing to go through, and divorce court is not something to which anyone should aspire, the feelings I get even through third hand contact with him testifies to me that we made the right choice. I used to feel like this all the time. Now I just feel like this when I have to handle him. So, big decisions to make, but I’m getting good at that too.
Wish me luck, I have to decide on my whole future in the next 10 minutes. It’ll be fine.