It is easy during a divorce to get caught up in the demonising of other parties concerned. While Mr Pollyanna would make that sooooo easy to do, I have purposely and purposefully tried my best to keep some perspective on this whole situation. I have tried, daily and sometimes hourly, to see things from another’s point of view, even if I disagree wholeheartedly. It is easier to live as peacefully a life as possible if you can view the world from another’s perspective and gain insight in to why they do what they do. It is not for them, it is for you.
So, with that in mind, and keeping in mind that we have documented and provable reason to be cautious of that rat faced stinking manipulative dangerous violent two bit pigtail of a soon to be ex-husband (I have feelings, so sue me!), I’ve decided to share some of his good points.
- He is father to my daughter, and she is a bright shining light in my life.
- When he heard he was to be a dad, he celebrated. He was at work and he danced right where he stood.
- He is in my opinion quite handsome.
- He presents himself as quite dignified.
- He is muscly in a slim build athletic frame.
- I liked his little pot belly.
- He has a nice full length coat.
- He has sometimes been kind and gentle.
- He got me into Star Trek New Generation and all things Sci-Fi.
- He’s ok at DIY.
- He can be quite sociable when he wants to be.
- He liked to talk and make people laugh.
- He only cheated on our relationship once to my knowledge.
- Like Achilles from Enders Shadow, he let me see his feelings and I was so careful with them.
- His parents are lovely and their opinion is important to him.
- When we met, I was 19 and he was quite easy to be around.
- He wasn’t a big drinker, we didn’t have noisy arguments.
- He wrote to me when I was serving as a missionary.
- He fixed my car once.
- He’s tall.
So, for his future partners, if you are ok with living with someone who has his history and likely his repeated-history future, he has a couple of nice things going for him. Good luck.
Very few people walk in to a relationship hoping for it to fail and to make the other person miserable. Momma didn’t raise no fool. Situations evolve and develop over the years and you do the best you can with what you have to hand.
However, I stand by my position that “It is never too soon and almost never too late to walk away”. Women need their own income for emotional and spiritual freedom… but that’s another post.
Hopefully in years to come Mr Pollyanna will be able to mentally compile his own “there were good things” list. I’ll never get to see it or hear of it but that’s ok. I know I was a great spouse who loved their other half wholeheartedly and with nothing left in reserve. I don’t need another person to quantify or qualify what I know to be true. I hope Mr Pollyanna gets to a place where the past is not repeatable and that he finds peace. I also hope he stays the heck away from us while he’s still angry, but that’s another matter.
Have a good one, folks. x