How do you get over homelessness?

How does a person previously made blamelessly homeless start a new future without fear of being homeless again?

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Ok, I have a question and I am genuinely looking for ideas.

With everything which happened my daughter and I were effectively made homeless overnight when we hadn’t missed a payment or damaged anything.  I was married, I thought we were somewhat ok enough, I loved him very much and I thought we had a stable home. But then everything happened and all that was removed.  I had to quickly find rentals for me and the child.  I have a pretty decent job so even though we’d been kept short of money by Mister and had no savings, the promise of a paypacket was enough to tide us over.  We found a place to stay, and then a different place a few months later and then have rented round and about over the last four years since that time.

But, I’m moving into a purchased home this spring and never want to ever be made homeless or be put in a housing-vulnerable situation again after romantic altercations.

I’ve started dating, have entered the dating scene, it’s fun, sometimes a bit meh but thinking ahead I don’t know how to feel secure or happy or safe in a future dated spouse or partner (cos I’m a fine catch!!!) making us homeless again in the future.  I was with my husband since I was 19, we split when I was 42, that’s a lot of years to think you are happy enough and house secure.

How has anyone trusted anyone again after homelessness?

How does that work, what are the mechanics?  How does a person make their future self safe from such a danger?

The idea of half-half responsibility leaves me cold with fear… what if we separated and I had to start over yet again with only half.

The idea of having my own home and someone move in when the time is right leaves me cold with fear… again, they could make a claim against the house.

Let’s be clear, it is a little house in an ok neighbourhood, it is not fancy.  But it will be safe and it will be mine and so long as I let not even a visitor in nobody could take my safety from me again. (I will let in visitors, obviously!)

But how does one make appropriate plans for a future that isn’t here yet?

 

Author: Pollyanna Whyte

Single LDS Mormon Mum/Mom living in England. This is our blog on emotional health, fun, parenting, life, divorce, starting over, friends, family, church things, and budgeting. Stop by, tell us what you think, feel free to share (but credit the source please).

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