In trying to do a nice thing, I messed up. My teen, Missy, had jet lag so pronounced that her eyes have rolled in their sockets a few times so that Sunday I let her sleep in while I went to services so that she can be ready for school.
Upon my return home she gently shared that she was upset with me that she hadn’t had the chance to go to Church and see her friends and say goodbye to a great girl friend on her final day in the Ward before reporting to the Missionary Training Centre on Wednesday. Apparently not seeing your church friends in Young Women’s for two whole weeks is too long.
I kind of kicked myself for not waking her and said sorry. BUT the delightful thing was that I got to hear that she wanted to go to church… She was a very isolated person during primary, wouldn’t join in and didn’t enjoy those years at all. It wasn’t anything to do with primary or the teachers, she just wasn’t inclined to participate back then and couldn’t be persuaded to be cheerful about it all.
So, music to my ears that her attendance and participation is important to her as an independent person. We wait a long time for kids born into the church, covenant kids, to choose for themselves and there is never any way of telling what their decision will be ahead of time but her disappointment in my choice today sat happily with me and in future I will honour her ability to decide for herself.
I would love her and respect her choices as long as she was on the right side of the law no matter what. If she died her hair pink and was full of nose piercings (but not ear tunnels, those things gross me out) I would still respect her freedom to choose. But to hear her express a desire to be where I think we ought to be for our little family made my heart happy. I am kind of glad I messed up so that we both had that moment, her realising where she wanted to be and me hearing it. Nice, eh.