Everybody Works On A Monday

Let us be brave and try new things.

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One of my favourite old time movies is Dave, about the Employment Agent who is co-opted to be a body double for the US President.  Some classic moments like “I once caught a fish this big” when in a Mech-Suit with an armspan of 15 feet.  The other line in the movie is “Everybody works on a Monday!” as he hustles to get his clients a position to start the week every week.

Well, today as I write, it is Monday, and I just finished my first day of the new job.

I have a very knowledgeable and very easy to talk to lady training me up in the new systems and skills.  She is very thorough and a great teacher and I look forward to working with her.

Being a what-if-aholic, I have my eye to the future to mitigate bumps in the road, sometimes a little too much to the future which might prevent enjoying what is happening now.  I have planned and counter planned and then freaked out like a fraggle in silence and sometimes to trusted companions because I didn’t have enough plans.  But on first glance, on day 1, in the first training session, I like what I see.  Fingers crossed, I’m going back in.

 

Setting Christmas Expectations WAY Too High

Really don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re worth more than that!

Christmas and the Holidays are about connecting.  It all started with a little family celebrating the birth of a baby, and the guests pretty much either brought their love (the shepherds) or a gift each (the kings).

When we think about having enough for Christmas, some years we’ll be financially able to King It Up, other years you’ll have a shepherds heart, both are completely acceptable to people who love you.

It is ok to “cut our coat to the cloth” and have a financially and emotionally manageable Holiday Period.   In the old days, tailors would decide what coat they were going to make based upon the quantity and quality of the cloth they had in front of them.  The more cloth, the fancier the coat, the less cloth, the simpler, but there was always a coat at the end of the cutting and stitching, they just had to assess what they had and decide how to proceed.

It is easy to want to give family and friends the exact gift they want, and sometimes/quite often we can do that.  But sometimes we can’t.  I’ve always gone as extravagant as I could and struggled in November – January.  This time folks will be getting cute, fun, ideal gifts which perhaps don’t require us to sell a kidney or rob a bank and although humbling, I’m completely ok with that now.

Have a diary so you don’t miss fun events, and have a good gift wrapping kit with scissors and a proper tape dispenser to make life easier, and book a day off work if possible or set aside a non-workday to prep, then enjoy.  It doesn’t have to be stressful, it doesn’t have to make us frazzled.  We decide how we react.

If the priority is in connecting with those we love, or in caring for ourselves during this period, we can’t go far wrong.  If we are invited and want to go, GO!  Don’t let worry stop us visiting with people we love and having fun or kicking up our heels.  If we are lonely, find someone to serve.  It is the quickest cure for loneliness.  If we are frazzled, stop and think about the people you are attempting to connect with through lovely festive food and a gift.  When we remember the who and why, the how becomes less fraught if we let it.  If we are overworked, simplify and delegate.  There is no prize for arriving at the holidays completely overwhelmed and fractious, we determine our destination and how we arrive there.

For me, it is the traditions of Christmas that I remember the most from growing up.  Wearing your nicest clothes and PJ’s, those little sausages in bacon during dinner, seeing Nan and Granddad, taking a couple of hours out on Christmas day to colour in the new colouring books with new felt tipped pens while laying on our tummies on the rug.  I don’t really remember exactly what gifts arrived, we had a few great ones to be sure, but what remains is how I felt during those Christmas periods.  Grandparents are no longer with us but I can still feel being pulled in to a hug by Nan with a big kiss on my forehead and I can still see Granddad laughing and chuckling to himself with tears in his eyes after making a dad-joke type pun.

If all we can do this year is bring a Shepherd Heart, we’ve done a lot.

Remember when you nearly pegged it?

You never realise how comforting light and sound are until there is no light or sound…

Perhaps that is an exaggeration.  Nobody nearly pegged it or died.  But that is how it felt in the dark of the middle of the night when plunged in to perceived peril.

It’s 3am, you’re woken by a fizzing pop sound near your head, the lamp which you normally leave on is dark, the radio you normally leave playing through the night is silent and in your stupor you wonder why the alarm won’t tell you the time.

Gosh darn it.  Something’s up with the electricity.

You reach for the extension socket and can’t get it out of the confined space in which it lives.

You pull your bed away from the wall with the lack of grace so profound that scientists are starting to write papers on the absence of grace as a contributing factor in String Theory.

Your hand gets stuck behind the headboard so you have a little middle of the night panic.  The hand is free at last so you try again unplugging the surge protector finally.

Yanking cables and trying not to drop items off of the bedside table ensues.  It does not go well.

So, in the dark you find your way across the room to see if the light switch works and do a happy dance when it does.

You determine that happy dancing at 3.05am is not a beautiful sight to anyone but you so you calm down a little.

Walking back to the socket area you crack your knee on the out of place bedframe but don’t cuss anything worse than “for the love of Sundays” which is a great replacement cuss, it has all the cadence and resonance of something far more cussy, it is very satisfying.

Back at the socket you find and release the surge protector from its captivity and notice that the little surge light is the culprit for the fizzle pop – it looks bedraggled and burned out, having done its job admirably and the switch has fallen off.

More growling sounds from you and trapped hands behind the headboard later, we find a spare socket for the alarm clock and set that little beast in luminous neon Star Trek blue so that it can wake you in a couple of hours now.

You discard the spent surge protector.

You muse that thank heavens you heard the fizzle pop sound through your dreams and responded otherwise your family would likely have slept until noon without interruption.

You worry that your house is going to burn down and that you shouldn’t have taken the battery out of the smoke alarm when you cooked sausages yesterday.

You vow to learn to cook sausages without having to have an evacuation procedure in place.

You stare at the clock for a while to make sure that the numbers change as they should, you nod off.

Smidgen Worried About A Promotion

While I was baking and eating a Black Cherry Crumble with my daughter on Friday night, I received an excited call saying I’d been successful in a recent interview and there was an offer on the table.  The role is a pay grade promotion within my organisation and would lead to increased skills and potentially new opportunities…. I should be delighted… so, why am I worried?

It is in a new yet adjacent field and something with which I do have a little experience but have yet to witness the scale with which they do their thing…. it’s the difference in scale between me being able to knock up a couple of batches of cupcakes vs them owning a cupcake bakery.

I am excited but I think I am daunted too.  It’s been along time since I was last fully daunted.  The feeling is unfamiliar and uncomfortable.  I have confidence that with the role is one I could rapidly grow in to.  It takes me physically away from the customers and supplies who I very much enjoy working with but is customer/business consideration centric.

With their permission, I’m going to throw myself in to it, see how far gumption and willing get me, and see how I can be of service.  Once I have a few days under my belt I’m sure these feelings will subside.  It is a great company to work for and its vision and planning for the future is second to none.  It is a very good place to work.

I’ve been with my current team for over 7 years and they are familiar and I know what I am doing but that is changing with the new company structure.  It is time to stretch and grow in a new area of the business.  I’ll let you know how things go.  Fingers crossed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I’ll not offer again” and that is a great thing.

“Missy, In order to try and keep options open for you and to be the kind of mum you deserve, I’ve been offering once every quarter to see if you want to be in touch with your dad.  You’re 17 now.  From now on I’ll not offer again but if you change your mind you can tell me.”

“Oh thank heavens, about time too.  I’ve been telling you for 5 years he was awful to me and I want nothing to do with him and FINALLY you listen”.

“I remembered today what he did, and I’ll not put you through that again.  If one day in the future you want to speak with him it’s fine but it is my job to protect you from harm and I will never put you in the position of defending your opinion again”.

 

Passion not Panic

Almost nothing is so urgent that it requires an absolute split second decision. There is time. Time can be our friend in most cases.

Chatting with a colleague friend yesterday I uttered the words “the decisions I’ve made recently have been borne of panic not passion” and a moment of clarity ensued.

I desire to live a life of passion, to passionately pursue my goals and to enjoy my 72 free goes around the Sun. Continue reading “Passion not Panic”

Lip Service Repentance vs Restitution

Lip service repentance should not ever get a predator off the hook. Predators need to know that there is no space for them as wolves among the lambs. #twitterstake #bloggernacle

Many woman in the Church have a story about how they were recipient of really awful behaviour by a man in the Church.  Often the aggressor being someone in some kind of authority or who has jurisdiction over some aspect of their or someone else’s life and safety.  The purveyors of aggressive behaviour are not great in number but they are like chili flakes in a sugar pot – unexpected and unwanted.

The experiences sit around either someone being domineering and aggressive, a creeper, being completely inappropriate or verbally and or physically aggressive toward them.   

They have stories of how, in the Gospel, we are required to be forgiving so after taking the concern or fear to the Church authorities the survivor of this conduct drops it, leaves it alone, waits to be called back in for a follow up conversation but when this rarely emerges they try not to mention it again.   

Frequently the complainant does not perceive they are truly believed. 

But here’s the kicker, the Church authorities frequently “have a quiet word” with the person and perhaps the behaviour toward the complainant stops for a while, perhaps there is tension….  

But there is no actual restitution.   

Almost never at any point is an abuser expelled from the congregation, only once to my knowledge because police became involved and a person was sent to prison for their offence but otherwise I have never known of a predator or aggressor being expelled. 

Never are other women warned about the danger, the complainant does not receive an apology from the aggressor, I’ve never heard of a plan of action being shared with the complainant, and women talk! 

There is a disconnect. 

Predatory or Domineering behaviour is rife, it is everywhere, even sadly occassionally within the Chapel Building walls. 

Young Women of aware parents have been told by their vigilant Mothers “Stay away from that person by any means necessary…. Scream, shout, kick up a stink, be direct with your words, but never ever let them come near you, they are dangerous” and the child’s life is altered with this knowledge and they will never be a completely innocent child again. 

Young Women of other parents are not warned of the danger, and the parents either trust the Lord to protect their kids or hover like helicopter parents and the children never develop a sense of danger and warning and walk through life in a Doe-like fashion. 

First, Women need to be believed.  Leaders need to express their thankfulness that the women have been brave enough to share their experience and asked if they want help pressing charges. 

Second, the predators need to be held accountable to the highest standards.

Third, we need the loop to be closed, the complainant needs to be approached by the person with whom they shared their concern, they need to be thanked again, they need to be told what the consequences were for the aggressor and asked again if they want to press charges. 

Forth, the aggressor needs to apologise and make restitution in full. 

Lip service repentance should not ever get a predator off the hook.  Predators need to know that there is no space for them as wolves among the lambs.  They need to know that the shepherds have got their number and that there is no hiding place.  If predators leave because they cannot predate with ease, so be it.

The missing piece right now rests around accountability and closing the loop by reporting back and receiving a restitutory apology at the very least.

Lip service repentance does not negate the requirement for justice.  In fact, it elevates the requirement for justice because lip service repentance is a dangerous and manipulative weapon used by aggressors to evade justice and consequences.