My first language is pictures.

I think in pictures, symbolic and very detailed picture

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I don’t think in English.

Nor any other verbal language from any Country.

Thoughts come to me in pictures, images, symbolism.

Some strong thoughts arrive with an attached feeling, normally monkey brain caution stuff.

Then I have to translate that picture into language.

Until a couple of months ago, I didn’t know that everybody wasn’t doing that.

Weird, eh.

Diaries and Journals

I found some old diaries and journals and it changed my perspective on keeping diaries and journals!

I heard the other week that when we remember something, we are actually remembering the previous time we remembered it, not the original event itself.

Not being a neurobiologist, I had a civilian root around and this seems to be the general consensus but I haven’t conducted experiments myself to validate the findings.

I got to thinking how Mormons are encouraged to keep a diary, to record the daily event and also the insights that occur in their lives.

We move house quite frequently.  Since the age of 24 I’ve bounced around in a state of “this fixed abode isn’t likely to be fixed for very long”.  I chose to move every time.  Each time was for a good reason.  What it didn’t foster, though, was a sense of permanence and of being able to settle in.

It’s a running joke that if I’m not willing to carry it to the truck next time, it’s not coming in my house.  Thus I have very few personal possessions.  What I do have, however, are earlier diaries, written by me when I was feeling particularly like recording what was going on.

I have a good memory.  I am pretty blessed with good recall, particularly if there is an audible element to the interaction.

However, when I read back over my diaries which have travelled with me all these house moves, I noticed that there had been a drift, Continue reading “Diaries and Journals”

Some days are just too flipping lovely.

I met my cousins family today for the first time in 32 years… It was wonderful!

Today one of my kiddos had their first YW class presidency training meeting. This kiddo takes her responsibilities very seriously and for that I am one grateful momma. It bodes well for the future.

Today was also an amazing day for me, and I am torn between blabbing my head off and respecting the other peoples privacy.

I had a catch up with a cousin.

No great shakes, you say?

Ah ha! I see your ‘no great shakes’ and raise you an ‘it has been almost 32 years since we hung out and our families met for the first time today’! I had such a relaxing afternoon and hope they did too. I am extremely happy that they have moved to be within an hour car ride of my home and I am so grateful for their gracious and easy hospitality. The kids got along like a house on fire too. 32 years felt like 32 days, now if that’s not a glimpse of eternity I don’t know what is.

How to hold a grudge, part 1

It’s easy to get caught up in being better than other people. Here’s how to get better at being better than others.

First, you have to make yourself better than the other person.

This might take some work, be prepared to put in the hours.

Notice how your home is better run than theirs, your furniture is threadbare because you are being “more honest”, how you only get to do <insert thing> because you are being more authentic in your daily actions.  Or make a mental note of how many extra hours you worked on that project in the office but they got the lions share of the credit.

Next, you have to pick a thread, the thread has to be from their character, their weakness, their mistake.  Then you have to start tugging at that thread, make the whole silk blouse unravel, pucker and ruin it properly.  You may need to get your foot in there too to Continue reading “How to hold a grudge, part 1”

Crying when I sing; Even the choir point and laugh.

Crying when I sing is an embarrassing and somewhat funny affliction, and I don’t know how to make it stop.

Singing season is nearly upon us which makes me seven kinds of happy.

I’m not gifted or talented in this arena but I am happy and enthusiastic.

With a running start and a lot of help I can get through most songs.

However, I cannot get through some songs without crying.

It is getting ridiculous.

Even the choir point and laugh now 🙂

My daughter, all 5’10” of her, will bend down and kiss me on the forehead saying “awhhh, you’re so sweet”.

I have been giving a lot of thought to what is doing this, why am I reacting this way, what can I do to stop it?

I don’t cry particularly at songs on the radio, or just general songs.

Some bands make me switch off the radio (Coldplay).

Half a phrase, if pertinent to a life experience, can “do me up like a kipper” as they’d say in London where I grew up.

Continue reading “Crying when I sing; Even the choir point and laugh.”

Charity: springboard to progress?

Being charitable with ourselves might prove to be the best thing we could ever do.

I was chatting with a friend this evening and the subject turned to charity.

We talked about how charity is love in action, it fosters a desire to understand others, to avoid being easily offended, to not be overly disappointed when someone doesn’t meet out expectations, to basically cut someone some slack and see their attributes rather than what is immediately apparent.

We talked about how it is a skill acquired over time.

We talked about how it is sometimes easier to go easier on others than ourselves, that we can expect a lot and be our own harshest critics and learning to give ourselves a little breathing space is a priority.

On the way home I asked myself “if I am being kind to myself, what’s in it for me?”

An original to me thought popped into this ol’ noggin.

If I know I am going to cut myself some slack, I am free try new things without fear of a personal berating session.

What’s in it for me is the freedom to embrace a dash of uncertainty.

There will be one fewer critic in the stands because I shall try to be graceful when things go right and also when they don’t.

To be on the field with mud and sweat on your face is an opportunity not to be missed.

Learning to become your own coach, your own cheerleader, your own binkie rather than your own worst enemy and critic is worthy of the time and investment to make it work.

I would not give it up for all the tea in the APAC region!

All hands on deck at 0900hrs.

Your company gathers all the staff together simultaneously at 0900hrs. It’s not fun.

Cripes.

We have known this was coming for months.

We have been pep talking eachother and ourselves for weeks, nay, months.

After hours today a meeting request was sent to every employee to be in a company wide, simultaneous meeting at 0900hrs to discuss the next stages of the reorganisation.

Each discipline to go to their assigned area and receive instruction.

Bile filled the pit of my stomach.

I still have a bit if trauma left over from the last time this happened.

Having recently had a very good managerial review, I came to the determination on the drive home that nothing is personal, this is just shaping the company the way the new boss wants it for continued success and growth.

I have tried to relax tonight as best I can.

~