The House #1. Winning the right to the matrimonial home in the divorce.

I received an unexpected email from the solicitors office stating that the funds were transferred.  I replied “Oh, that’s nice, any idea of a completion date?” and they said “as far as I am concerned, the house is now yours”.

I went a little pale.  Blood drained from my face.  I felt a little woozy.  Things we’d been hardly daring to hope for over the past 4 years were almost within touching distance.

I enquired after keys.  “Oh, yes, this is an unusual situation with no estate agents who would normally hold keys, I’ll try to track a set down”.

I waited half hour and then went to the solicitors office, it was a Friday evening after all.

Upon arrival I discovered that the contact has gone home for the weekend but that Mr Pollyanna Whyte would make a key available at 5 pm at the property, no sooner, no later, I had to attend in person.

This was not awesome.  Firstly, he was now in my house.  Secondly, we’d had no contact for 4 years, you know, what with the death threats and everything, a woman tends to stop staying in touch when a surprise child beating and wife hurting during the rescue narcissistic personality type (at best – perhaps with added psychopathic tendencies because he’s not really clever enough to be a sociopath) goes off message and starts behaving in an antisocial manner.

I am on the Police National Computer so if I call, they know who it is and send someone even if I cannot verify details so I thought I’d ask if they’d be so kind as to go with me to pick up the keys to prevent a breech of the peace.  Sorry, Nope, sayonara sucker!  Ok.

I considered waiting until the next working day, requiring Mr P to hand in keys to the solicitor and take it from there.  But then I caught my second wind after a little “I’m quite a bit frightened cry” when I’d tried to keep my act together but then a family member was nice on the phone and I had to end the call, and so I put on my big girl knickers and pulled up to the drive at 5pm on the date specified.

No cars were in the drive.

A sticky-note was in the window directing me to the neighbours house for the key.

No conflict.  Phew.

We had the keys.  By we, I mean me and Missy.  We had a home.

Now to find out in what condition the home had been left.

 

 

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Terminal illness.

Londoners and Essex people become colourfully indignant when we have feelings going on. It’s a culture thing.

My friend from works wife just let us know that our dear, funny as heck, tall, handsome and intelligent, honourable, caring, kind, micky taking, irreverent and a little politically incorrect, world travelling, close to retiring friend is terminally ill.

That bastard.

How dare he leave this world a little dimmer through lack of his presence.  How dare he not regale us again with the same tale over and over again on “when I was in Ireland”.  How dare he not tease me for coming from the wrong side of the tracks.  How dare he not be around to share his immense wisdom.  How dare he not tell me “Chin up, girl, you got this”.

How bastarding dare he.

 

 

Mark Thomas – The Red Shed Tour

Things sure do change quickly.  After a difficult weekend (someone reversed in to my car on Friday, feelings happened on Sunday… the less said the better!) we used the front row tickets we’d bought to watch a show by Mark Thomas, Comedian and Political Activist, at the Corby Cube Theatre on Tuesday night.  Me, Missy and Mel yomped off to the next town over to see one of my favourite broadcasters.  Credit to Mel and Missy, I pretty much coerced them into it but they were willing wingmen and had a great night in their own right.

The show was a delight, moving, funny as heck, and a tad inspirational.  It was a telling of how Mr Thomas went from being a student at a Uni oop norf to witnessing working folks who were under extreme duress during his student years and how that had a defining impact on his life which fuelled his passion for justice.

Phenomenal story telling – loved it.  We need to tell each other our stories, write them down, pass them along.  They’re important.

I was totally fan-girling through the show, I was excited before the show to see the show, I was happy during the show, and I was delighted after the show to meet the man himself in the bar during the book signing.  I tried to be cool.  I was not cool.  I smiled through the whole thing.  Uncool but I was happy.

I was seven kinds of happy that he stopped to chat with Missy, a poker faced teen, who stood by herself after the show waiting for us. He apparently talked about how happy he was she was there and they shared a little time together with him earnestly encouraging her in her pursuits, which he did just because he wanted to and not because there was anything in it for him. She hadn’t made a purchase, she was just waiting for the adults across the way and he stopped what he was doing to take time for her.  If I didn’t love his work before, I sure as heck do now.  It takes a village to raise a teen with a conscience and gumption and Mr Thomas just helped me raise my very tall kid for a few minutes.  How cool is that?!  A star chatting with my kid about how happy they were for her to be there!

Great night out.  If you love brilliant storytelling and laughter check out his tour which is coming to major UK cities over the Spring and Summer, Cardiff, London, Oop Norf, everywhere.  Go see it.  It’s great. (Mark Thomas Webpage)  and his twitter @markthomasinfo

(Photo credit to The Chester Chronicle)

 

 

If somebody is Elected, does that person have a right to make decisions?

This is the man who was lawfully elected by millions of people and is keeping his promises. Should we really be surprised?

Do we really believe that the recently elected President of the USA is akin to Hitler?  Do we believe he must be opposed at every step?

It is the right of a nation to secure their borders.  It is the right of a nation to determine who can live there so long as it in keeping with the letter and spirit of International Law including the Geneva Convention.  It is the right of a country to decide how to spend their money for the benefit of the people.  It is the right of a nation to cease positively collaborating with other first world nations.

There are worrying events happening.  People with vile world views are being promoted to positions of power when they really ought to be on shock radio in some backwater town, and they are replacing experienced and calm leaders who are experts in their field.  Nominees for Education cannot tweet in a grammatically correct format and do not know the difference between Federal Law and the responsibility of the individual State, while also not regarding the access to education for disabled children to be a matter worth understanding ahead of taking on the role.  Daughters who run multi-million dollar empires in their own name are required to become housewives and give up their autonomy so that Daddy can do his thing and hire their inexperienced husband but the sons are not required to give up their business interests.  Bans on people from places that follow a particular religion are restricted from entering America.  The adoption of the new policy is shambolic and designed to fill people with anxiety and dread.

But, this is the man who was lawfully elected.  There was a peaceful transition of power.

Many millions of people decided to disregard his tax evasion and avoidance, his complete disregard of demonstrating that his business and that of his friends are not the primary focus in decision making, people chose to ignore the grotesque comments about women, they chose to ignore his philandering and his giggling about inappropriate loitering around the changing rooms at beauty pageants he bought even though some of the contestants were naked and barely over 16 years old, they chose to ignore his history of aggression toward his former wife, they chose to ignore that he frequently defaulted on paying contractors for work done, they disregarded that it is immensely difficult to have him speak without a falsehood contained therein and that he has no concept of waiting his turn to speak.

He was elected on promises that he is now keeping.  Closing borders, building very expensive walls, attempting to undermine the press reporting of his actions, opening pipelines across land which is geologically fragile and important to the indigenous population, dismantling hard won equality legislation, restricting access to any healthcare for millions with nothing yet to put in its place, restricting access to female healthcare even though Federal Dollars have not been allocated toward abortions since the 1970’s.

Actions apparently based on a Moral Code are more akin to the dismemberment of the Separation of Church and State.

Millions of people agreed with his ideas and policies enough to cast their ballot for him.

So, in keeping people distracted on matters which are still important, people are being deflected from paying attention to his lack of experience and lack of understanding regarding being accountable to any kind of law.  Perhaps this is the first time that the President is being held accountable to the law by people more determined and talented than him.

What does opposition to his published agenda and visible action achieve?

It causes the President to become flustered and angry.  It causes him to pay attention whether he wants to or not on how many people are willing to show up and say not in my name.  He would never be able to legitimately claim in all honesty that he ever thought his decisions were in harmony with the mind of all the American people.

Millions voted for him, few are expressing their unwavering support for his ideas, policies and actions.  Few are saying “I believe in this too”.  Perhaps they need to make themselves heard.

Civil disobedience has been a tool of the people for decades.  In the 1960’s it brought about desegregation in the USA, in the 1960’s and 1970’s in the UK people campaigned for equal rights and safety in the workplace even at the expense of profit margins, in the 1980’s in the UK it brought about changes to the law regarding taxation.  It does bring about positive change.

The current expressions of opposition to a lawfully elected President will likely protect hard won and hard fought rights that people already have.  This is a first.  For people to actively join with other groups to protect what they or another group have rather than fight for what they don’t.  Agitating against the reversal of rights and privileges rather than trying to secure them in the first place.

People chose this President.  Should we be surprised at his choices?  Even if we don’t like the choices, should he be allowed to make them?